Despite being “hung like Mickey Mouse,” Ant Smith isn’t hiding, apologizing, or shrinking into shame. Instead, he’s proudly packing his “little one-inch wonder” and challenging outdated stereotypes that suggest a man’s penis defines his masculinity.
In 2015, after a lifetime of ridicule and low self-esteem, Ant Smith broke his silence with “Shorty,” a bold and funny poem that went viral for its unflinching honesty.
“My little one-inch wonder/Up to four times it can grow…I’m hung like Mickey Mouse / I’m glad now to admit. For the greater pain exists / In propagating myths,” the 58-year-old writes in the rhyme that says masculinity is not measured in inches. “According to the Internet / Real men have massive d***s / And you are next to useless / If you’re ‘only’ average.”
Smith, who authored “The Small Penis Bible,” admitted that his penis measures 4 inches erect and between 1 to 2 inches when flaccid – smaller than the global average of 3.42 inches flaccid or 5.48 when erect, according to a 2023 Men’s Health study.
The UK-based computer programmer does not fall within the defined range of a micropenis, under 2.8 inches erect.
But growing up, he was constantly mocked and haunted by a casual comment from a friend during a play fight: “There’s not much there, is there?”
“I was teased at school and it made me so self-conscious I didn’t have sex until I was 21. I would get embarrassed if the condom slipped off as my penis was too small to keep it on,” he said on ITV’s This Morning, adding that he dodged changerooms and dreaded intimacy. “When I grew up it was the perceived wisdom that six or seven inches is normal. You get anxiety when you stick seven in your mind.”
When it comes to penis size, many men are on a silent (and sometimes not-so-silent) quest for more. It’s as if manhood comes with a built-in measuring tape and bragging rights are handed out by the inch.